The plague of religion

You have to admire them. Nobody, but nobody can insult you in such a sanctimonious, bitter way as catholics. Unhindered by knowledge or manners they heap one crude affront after another rude slight upon you, if you don't happen to belong to their rapist-condoning club.

In The Catholic Herald, one Francis Phillips writes her little pious butt off to demonstrate that Atheists can't be joyous.

Well, I knew we were all vicious, amoral murderers but now it appears it is impossible for us to experience joy. We're just not equipped for it. Only, I repeat only, catholics (well, maybe other christians as well) can experience true joy. Mind you, I grant we sorely lack how a catholic priest can be joyous at times.

A joyous Atheist is no less than The Ultimate Oxymoron according to Francis. Not your garden variety oxymoron. No, no. The Ultimate Oxymoron. It doesn't get more oxy, according to what must be the ultimate catholic moron.

It is probably something like The Ultimate Pleonasm: a bigoted catholic.

"You can be either ‘joyous’ or an ‘atheist’; you cannot be both. Discuss."

Discuss? Gladly, dear Madam.

So, I tried my hand at some sanctimoniousness of my own. It was hard work, but I tried to be as salving, yet denigrating, as understanding, yet condescending as a catholic.

This is what I came up with.


Dear Madam,

Why is it that so many Christians, and especially so many Catholics, are so harsh, judgmental and, well, frankly, unhappy?

Haven't you read this piece over before submitting it? Haven't you noticed its acerbic, condescending tone? Haven't you noticed the callous way in which you insult a very, very large group of people?

I wonder what your definition of the word joyful is. Is this piece joyful? Joyful hate? Joyful condescension? Are you joyfully feeling superior?

Don't you think that if your religion were really joyful, people would flock to you? Wouldn't they come running towards you, asking, nay, begging "Please, tell me, what is the source of your joyfulness? Please, tell me your secret. Instruct me how I can become as joyful as you are."

Do they, dear Madam? Do they really?

Over the last years, more than 34 million people have turned their backs to organized religion in the US alone. How can they give up that ethereal joy of which you non-atheists are the sole possessors?

By their fruits you shall know them. Or, more prosaically and less religiously put, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. You only have to look at your emptying churches. You only have to listen to the howls of derision and ridicule reverberating throughout the world when the pope has issued yet another statement that defies, literally, belief in all the meanings of the word. You only have to feel the almost palpable distastefulness that surrounds your priesthood.

Your lack of love, Madam, is only surpassed by your arrogant hatefulness.

I understand, Madam, that you were preaching to the choir. Like any group of enablers they will undoubtedly applaud you. Cherish them, because their numbers are dwindling by the day. Alas for you, the Dark Ages are over and when you insult people, even when it is in the name of your god, even when you are a Catholic, you are going to get some answers. Not all of which might please you.

You have been sowing bitter seeds.

What kind of harvest do you think you will reap?


PS: You also fail at linguistics. Look it up in the Oxford English Dictionary. At least since the early seventeenth century the word has been used with a secular meaning.

Why am I not surprised a Catholic is lagging a few centuries behind?


A lot of other atheists have reacted as well. So now you have a web page that makes for partly infuriating, partly highly amusing reading: enjoy it here

Thanks to The Spiritual Atheist who drew my attention to this site.